


The Way To A Fake Boyfriend's Heart Is With Enchiladas

by DoctorFitzy (KittooningMalijah)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: College AU, Established Relationship, F/M, Fake Dating, Less Than 5K, cameos from other characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 21:21:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4237041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittooningMalijah/pseuds/DoctorFitzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leopold Fitz has a date. Actually, he has two dates – on the same night. One of them involves enchiladas, and the other is with his girlfriend.</p>
<p>For the “More Than That, Less Than 5k” exchange.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Way To A Fake Boyfriend's Heart Is With Enchiladas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [femmeGeneticist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/femmeGeneticist/gifts).



> Written for the More Than That, Less Than 5k exchange on tumblr. The prompt was "fake dating au," which I'm sure I went in an entirely different direction than expected.

When Leo Fitz unlocked the door to the on-campus apartment, he didn't expect what he walked in on. What he _did_ expect was a few hours of relaxation so that he could work on his paper about thermal and kinetic energy, maybe with some music turned on in the background until his roommate was done with his own classes for the day and they good figure out something to do for food. What he _didn't_ expect was...

“Grant, why aren't you wearing any trousers?”

The Scotsman stared at the occupied couch for a few moments before stepping forward so that he could close the door behind him. Grant Ward was one of his closest friends, and had been his roommate for going on two years, and while it wasn't exactly  _the norm_ to walk in on bizarre situations such as this one, a part of him knew it would probably happen eventually. Still,  _it was inevitable_ didn't tell him  _why_ he was staring at a trouser-less history major. Luckily, he didn't have to wait long for an explanation.

Of course, he should have known it wouldn't be a simple one when the friend in question was supposed to be in class for at least another three hours. “I talked to Raina after my lecture this morning.” That was is. That was all it took for Fitz to drop his book bag by the door, sinking into the available seat on the couch with a groan. If Raina was involved, the story was going to get crazy and he might as well get comfortable. “Don't give me that look. Honestly, someone needs to teach her the meaning of the words  _one night_ stand. In my defense, all we did was talk, then I came back here and showered, and then I just didn't feel like putting pants back on. I'm hiding here so that I don't have to see her again.”

With a roll of his eyes, Leo let out a sigh and tried not to groan again. His friend had slept with Raina exactly one time, and in the months since, she hadn't taken the hints that it wouldn't be happening again any time soon – or ever. “I take it, based on the fact that you're  _hiding,_ you didn't tell her that she shouldn't get her hopes up?”

“Well... no, I think I made it pretty clear that she didn't have a chance with me. I...” His next words were mumbled and impossible to make out, which didn't bode well for anyone involved. There were a few long, unnecessarily drawn out seconds full of staring and worry before the real explanation was given. “I kind of told her I have a date this Friday. With you.”

“ _What_?”

It was one thing to lie about having a date, but dragging him into things when he already had plans for Friday night was crossing a line. “No. I'm not helping you with your stupid charade when Jemma and I  _finally_ rescheduled. I'm spending my Friday night with  _her_ at that German place on fifth, and then I'm going to walk her to her apartment, and we're going to kiss, and it's going to be magical! Not one single version of my night that involves you – not even covering for you, not when you're the reason we had to postpone the last time.  _No_ .”

There was no time for Grant to properly react before the single throw pillow they owned hit him square in the head, making him frown. “First of all, you were to going to take her to  _Hydra_ ?  _Really_ ? They were running a black market weapons exchange in the alley last year  _while I worked there_ . No, if you want my advice, take her to Afterlife – the Asian fusion place down on seventh. The food's better, and they have trivia night every Thursday. Winning table gets their food for free. You're welcome. Second,  _I_ am not the reason you had to cancel –  _you_ insisted, after I pushed you into a five foot pool where you could very easily stand up, that we go to the emergency room to make sure you weren't dying. So, technically,  _you_ are the reason we spent nine hours in uncomfortable chairs, because literally  _no one_ on call thought you were in any danger. Lastly, we don't have to  _go_ anywhere on Friday. I'll make those enchiladas you like, and then we can finally finish watching  _Psych._ ”

Fitz had to admit, it didn't sound like a  _terrible_ night, but that didn't mean he wanted to explain to Jemma that he had to cancel. Again. “Fine. But you're paying for groceries  _and_ making a double batch so that I can bring leftovers for lunch. We only have one episode of  _Psych_ left, so after that,  _I_ get to pick the next show we watch. And this is a  _one time thing_ .

–

“Leo, this is the third Saturday in a row you've shared enchiladas with us for lunch. How are you convincing Grant to cook _every_ Friday? Are you paying him in money, goods, or services?”

The usual crowd was taking up the seats at their usual table, the surface circular and just large enough to hold all seven of their lunches. Not surprisingly, the only people paying attention to the conversation were Skye, Jemma, and Leo himself. Trip and Lincoln were having some discussion about the lighting in the auditorium, something about dimmer lights and more shadows for dramatic effect, and Bobbi and Lance were arguing in hushed whispers, not even noticing that anyone else had shown up if how they were acting was anything to go on.

“Does pretending to date my roommate to protect him from crazy women fall under _services_?” Shaking his head to fend off more questions, he took a bite from the plate of reheated enchiladas in front of him before speaking again. “I'm getting delicious food out of the deal, and we've gotten through all of _Firefly_ and a few seasons of _Doctor Who_ since this started. As soon as it's over, I'm using all of the money I've been saving on not having to buy groceries to make a reservation at Afterlife for a Thursday trivia night.”

Across the table, Skye rolled her eyes at him, reaching over to steal a forkful of tortilla, chicken and cheese and speaking before she'd even finished chewing. “Winning trivia night at Afterlife isn't something you should save up money for. You're the science babies – no one else is even going to try, because they all know you're going to know every single answer, anyway.”

This time, it was Jemma who rolled her eyes, shaking her head at their friend while taking his hand in hers. “I think it's sweet. I don't care where we go – so long as we actually get to  _go_ on the date this time.” She narrowed her eyes at him, keeping a firm tone through her next few sentences. “That means no nearly drowning, no canceling in favor of enchilada night, no getting distracted doing extra credit in the lab, and no last minute tutoring for extra cash.” To soften her words, she leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek. “And  _definitely_ no canceling to have a date night with your roommate.”

“Was the night I helped Donnie with his project _really_ a planned date, though?” Leo hurried to try to defend himself, shaking his head and meeting her gaze in hopes that his blue eyes she's said she loves on _multiple_ occasions will work in his favor just this once, and not put them in the midst of a make out in the process. “No nearly drowning? Really? I'm offended. I could have _died_ , Jemma. What if the pool _had_ been deeper than five feet?” He stared at her for a long moment, shaking his head in comical mock disappointment before speaking up again. “And my nights with Grant are not _technically_ dates. They're roommate dates where I make him cook and then we sit on the couch until two in the morning watching sci-fi television- bloody _hell_ , I'm dating Grant.”

The laughter that came from Skye's side of the table almost made him cringe while he pushed the half eaten plate of enchiladas to the middle of the table with a frown. “Tough luck, Fitzy. Oh! Has he gotten further than Jemma has, because that's just sad.”

“ _No_!” He wanted to say more, but the buzzing from his phone made him pull the device from his pocket, reading the incoming text and typing out a quick response.

[ from | big bear ]  _Raina's in the bookstore. Requesting back up._

[ to | big bear ]  _Give me fifteen minutes._

“I have to defend a man almost twice my size from a tiny woman obsessed with flowers. Don't let these enchiladas go to waste.” Leo got to his feet, quickly stealing a kiss from his girlfriend before offering a short wave to everyone else, quickly typing another text with one hand.

–

[ from | mishka ]  _Just to be clear, I hate you._

Grant sighed at the text and closed his eyes, hitting his head against the shelf under the counter that held his personal things when he was on duty. He could only hide for so long before Raina figured out where he was, and the fact that she was in the aisles looking for material for a project meant he had at least five minutes before she noticed he was missing from his station behind the register – he could only pray that the time would expand to at least fifteen to give his roommate a chance to arrive. On a Saturday afternoon, he was  _supposed_ to have at least two other people in the store with him, but with exam week approaching, he was the only one actually available to take the shift.

It was no surprise that Raina had figured that out specifically to corner him.

Or maybe she hadn't, and he was just paranoid, but that didn't mean it wasn't a very distinct possibility.

When the bell on the counter rang to alert that someone –  _please don't be Raina, please don't be Raina, please don't be Raina_ – was waiting for service, he flinched and slowly got to his feet, not realizing how much time had passed until he found himself staring at his roommate. “I'm so happy to see you.”

“Hello, Sweetie.” It was times like these when he was glad Leo had insisted on taking a few theater classes their freshman year. It meant that _acting_ like a couple was a lot easier in practice than they had expected it to be. There was also the possibility that they were just _really_ comfortable around each other, and he didn't want to linger on that thought for too long, mostly because it made him really _un_ comfortable. “You get off in an hour, right? I was thinking we could hang out in the apartment for a little while before going to Hydra for dinner?”

Oh, no. This wasn't  _just_ an act, at least not for his Scottish roommate – Raina was a waitress at Hydra, which meant they'd either have to show up or concoct yet another lie to cover for themselves. For the sake of his romantic future, Grant didn't exactly want to spread rumors that might involve him and his best friend exploring their sexualities any more than they already were. This was the all or nothing moment. Lie and spread rumors, or come clean.

_Damn you, Leopold_ .

“Actually, babe...” His tone was soft, and it took a very embarrassing amount of self control to not glare when he saw the victorious gleam in his friend's eye. “I wanted to talk to you, and now that you're here, I don't think I can wait until after dinner. This is hard for me to say. Leo, I just don't think now is a good time.”

He was still lying, not about to give Raina the opening she wanted to move in and strike again, but maybe his acting was better than he thought, because holding back laughter at the false look of hurt in Fitz's eye was easy so long as he didn't let himself think about it. “What?”

“What I mean is... I think we need some time apart. Not _apart_ apart; I'll still be your roommate, of course; but with exams coming up, I just don't think now is a good time to be in a relationship.”

There was a beat while the Scotsman across the counter kept in his own sounds of amusement at their very convincing break up, and then he did the unthinkable – which consisted of his accented words breaking at just the right moments, creating the illusion of tears. “I- I understand. School is important, but I'll wait for you – for when you're ready.”

The sound of heels clicking angrily on the cheap laminate tile meant that Raina was officially gone, and the two dissolved into laughter.

–

It took two weeks for Leo to secure a reservation at Afterlife, and the only reason he and Jemma were able to get a good table was because exam week was exactly four days away, which meant nearly everybody else was holed up in their rooms studying for one life defining test or another. Their only competition in the weekly trivia game consisted of three other teams – Bobbi and Lance, who seemed to have made up in the time since their last fight but would probably be arguing again by the time the night was over; Skye and Trip, who were paying more attention to the game they'd made up with straw wrappers than the actual competition; and Grant and his new girlfriend, Kara, who he seemed to genuinely like and wasn't just using her to fend of more of Raina's advances.

As the official round came to a close, Leo and Jemma were tied with Grant and Kara with a perfect score of ten points, Skye and Trip had gotten seven points, and Bobbi and Lance were trailing with a miserable four points. Lincoln was up on stage, looking between the two “winning” groups with an amused expression, pulling an envelope from his back pocket and not even bothering with the microphone he'd set down beside him – there weren't nearly enough people in the restaurant to need it. “You know, I've never had to pull out the tie-breaker before. I should give you both discounts just for that.”

Of the four people squirming excitedly in their seats, Leo was the only one who was barely listening, trying to ignore Jemma's hand on his knee under the table so that he could at least try to focus on the upcoming question. This wasn't about just winning a free meal anymore, not that it ever had been; it was about making sure he could answer before Grant did – which was the only suitable revenge for the three lost Friday night's from their dating charade.

“In the hit television crime dramedy, _Psych_ , Juliet O'Hara moves to which California city in the show's final season?”

With the excitement of the moment, two voices shouted out the answer in unison, forgetting too easily that there were scraps of paper at the tables specifically for the purpose of delivering to the main stage to give everyone a fair shot at get the answer correct or otherwise.

“ _San Fransisco_!”

Seven gazes flicked between the two roommates, no one else even  _trying_ to find a piece of paper that hadn't been scribbled on to answer the question themselves, the boys' dates included. Instead, when the calm shattered, Jemma reached over to put her hands on Leo's cheeks and draw his lips down to hers, giving Grant the opportunity to grab a slip of paper from one of the unused tables, write the two word answer in barely legible chicken scratch, and scramble to the stage to hand it over to Lincoln before anyone else could even tell what was happening.

–

“You distracted me. We could have won, but you just _had_ to go and kiss me just _then_ and we _lost_.”

“ _Leo,_ ” Jemma shook her head, not at all successful in hiding her quiet laughter while they walked hand-in-hand back toward campus. “We didn't need to _win_ to have a good time. Besides, you weren't complaining about me kissing you when it turned into snogging right there at the table – Skye isn't going to shut up about it for at least a month.”

He sighed, defeated by her logical points, and shook his head while they turned the next corner, having decided to spend the night watching  _Doctor Who_ until they were tired enough for the couch to be considered a comfortable place to sleep. “Of course I wasn't  _complaining_ ; you're a good kisser, and my mouth was too busy for me to say anything of the sort.”

Her giggle made him look down at her, giving her hand a squeeze while leaning over to press his lips to her temple. Despite the devastating loss at trivia, the night had been wonderful – and that wasn't just because they'd had some of the best chicken teriyaki in a hundred mile radius, though that was another thing to add to the list of things he wasn't complaining about.

“How long do you think we'll have the apartment to ourselves?”

“Based on the average amount of time Grant spends away after a first date? Probably until about noon tomorrow. Although, there's a possibility he could come back sooner, not that I think he will.” Leo shrugged his shoulders, taking his key from his pocket to let them into the building and holding the door open. “We could always just take up my bed instead of the living room. I can set up Netflix and we can actually sleep somewhere comfortable instead of the old, lumpy couch.”

Before he could reach out for the apartment's door handle, she kissed his cheek and, despite how chaste the action was, left him practically breathless while she took the key to let them inside. “That sounds  _perfect_ .”

–

With no alarm going off on the event free Friday morning, Jemma dazedly crawled out of her boyfriend's bed and found one of his sweatshirts on the ground, pulling it over her head so that she could venture out into the hallway without worrying that her camisole and underwear would be too revealing had Grant let himself in at some point in the night. The sight she faced when she rounded the corner into the bathroom told her that he most definitely had.

In contrast, Leo wasn't awakened by an alarm, but it was certainly a sound that he would classify as  _alarming_ . He sat straight up at the sound of a high pitched screech, holding back laughter when he could make out Jemma's words.

“ _Grant, you're not wearing any trousers!_ ”

Rolling out of bed and making his way to the doorway, he actually let himself laugh while trying to stumble to the bathroom. With a shake of his head while he stared at Grant, wide-eyed and with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, he mumbled a halfhearted, sleepy request. “If he tries to set up a fake date night, make sure enchiladas are involved and I'm invited.”


End file.
